In response to Jocelyn’s thoughtful post, To My Introvert.
Even though we’ve only already only just finished week 5 of the semester, somehow it feels like an entire lifetime has passed since those last golden days of summer. And yet, in spite of that, I know that in another couple of blinks it’ll be Christmastime already even though my agenda is penned, Post-It’d, and penciled nearly to death for every week between now and then.
How’s my semester been going?
Oh, it’s been going all right.
As a fourth year, I’ve gotten the question, “So what are your plans for after graduation?” more times than I can count at this point. Real life is looming ahead of me — ahead of us — an inevitable thing that I will have to meet one day, not too far down the line. (In fact, I have it penciled in on my agenda, as if some part of me is hoping I can erase its coming and deny its presence by refusing to use pen.)
The closer that moment comes, the more torn I feel about all of you.
I am, like Jocelyn, a huge introvert. I’ve said “not going” to many Facebook invites, backed out of party invites, and called “uncle” for alone time rather than go out.
It’s never been out of malice, I promise. I’ve always been a particularly great wallflower, a human being who prefers one-on-one time over group activities, and so attending larger-ish gatherings never fell comfortably within my comfort zone.
But as each week passes, and I’ve mentally postponed yet another get-together with a friend, the Countdown to Real Life number decreases yet again, and the guilt kicks in.
To all of you who haven’t seen me yet this semester, I deeply apologize for my flakiness — and my insane schedule, though that’s really not an excuse at all. I promise I will see you very soon.
To all of you who have been able to catch me at the odd hour thus far this semester, thank you for reaching out to me and somehow, miraculously, having a free hour that coincided with mine.
Courtney Cheng 